A Mindful Shift: Stop Pursuing Happiness and Start Practicing It
By Karla Jensen, PhD
In 2012, my colleague Dave Whitt and I stood before Nebraska Wesleyan’s graduating class to deliver the baccalaureate address. Our charge to the students was simple: go forth and discover your personal joy, pleasure, and delight—and when you find it, never let it go. In 2014, we adapted that address into a TEDx talk, sharing that same call to action with a wider audience. Today, as I review those scripts, the core message remains true: no matter our age, we all need to seek out happiness. In the 14+ years since that first speech, my belief that happiness is a skill—one that can be taught and practiced—has been validated by numerous empirical studies which confirm that mindful awareness is an essential key to finding authentic, moment-to-moment contentment.
Defining and Appreciating Happiness Via Mindfulness
We’ve been wrestling with how to best define happiness for centuries. While it is so personal that some scholars avoid defining it altogether, we can clearly identify what happiness is not: it is not hedonistic behavior achieved at the expense of others. That is merely "cheap dopamine," a fleeting high that leaves us hungrier than before. Aristotle provided a more durable framework when he noted that happiness is a "virtuous activity of the soul." This suggests that a happy life is a virtuous life, and in modern terms, we can view mindfulness, the deliberate practice of observing our thoughts and impulses without judgment, as an essential vehicle for this activity. Mindfulness is a way to create the mental space necessary to align our daily actions with our deeper values and virtues.
We need to understand happiness not as a retreat from reality, or ignorance of the world’s atrocities, or avoidance of our personal challenges, but as the fuel that allows us to communicate with greater wisdom and equanimity. When we are stuck in a state of chronic stress or "survival mode," our peripheral vision narrows, both literally and figuratively. Mindfulness serves as the physiological "reset button," calming the nervous system so we can step out of these reactive patterns; without it, we become less capable of empathy and less creative in our problem-solving. By nurturing happiness through mindfulness, we pave the way for compassion and resilience. Metaphorically speaking, think of mindfulness like the guidance given before an airplane flight: “Use your oxygen mask first, then help others."
Pursuing vs. Practicing Happiness
Founding Father Benjamin Franklin famously noted that the U.S. Constitution guarantees not happiness, but the pursuit of it. For centuries, we’ve interpreted this as a call to action—an invitation to run faster, achieve more, and keep checking off boxes on our list. But what if there were another way to interpret pursuit? What if the key to happiness isn't catching up to a moving target, but learning how to stand still?
For many, the pursuit of happiness feels like a treadmill. We convince ourselves that happiness is a final destination we’ll reach once we tackle our to-do list, coordinate our appointments, or clean out the garage. But evidence-based research illustrates how mindfulness turns the search for happiness from an exhausting marathon into a sustainable stroll by allowing us to stop chasing a future version of joy and instead begin practicing it in the present.
Because everyone’s personality and needs are unique, there is no one-size-fits-all prescription for happiness. This is especially true in our later years, when life’s rhythms shift. We often move through our days with a brain that acts like a trap: we let moments of joy slide off us like Teflon, while worries or irritations stick to us like Velcro. This isn't a personal failing; it is a feature of our biology called negativity bias. For our ancestors, survival depended on scanning for danger, so the brain evolved to prioritize threats and ignore the “all is well” moments.
But we no longer need to live in a constant state of high alert, and we can consciously rewire this pattern by choosing to pause. When you encounter a moment of beauty, humor, or contentment, try to linger with it for ten or twenty seconds. By intentionally staying in that space, you signal to your nervous system that you are safe; you’re training your brain to stop letting the good stuff slip away. It is a small, daily act of turning our attention from surviving toward savoring. By making these intentional choices, we do more than just exist; we actively cultivate a capacity for happiness by directing our own awareness. These moments of intention lift us beyond the routine of existing and transform happiness from a fleeting feeling into a practiced skill. Whether you find joy in a quiet book or a crowded auditorium, mindfulness ensures you are actually there to experience it.
Your Happiness Homework
If happiness is a skill, it deserves the same attention you give to any other craft. You wouldn't expect to play the piano beautifully without touching the keys, yet we often expect to feel happy without ever practicing the mental habits that produce it. Mindfulness is the practice in this equation. It involves:
Noticing: Compassionately catching your mind when it wanders into the pursuit of the future or the longing for the past.
Returning: Gently bringing your focus back to the present task or your breath.
Savoring: Intentionally lingering on a positive moment, no matter how small.
Watch Karla and Dave’s TEDxLincoln Talk
By engaging in this exercise, we move from searching for happiness to hosting it. We create a mental environment where true moment-to-moment contentment can actually take root and grow. Ultimately, the most important work we can do is to cultivate a mind that knows how to be happy, right here, right now, in the midst of it all.
For ideas of how to start or enhance your mindfulness journey, check out the Mindful Living section.
Karla Jensen, PhD, is a professor of Communication Studies and Contemplative Practices, and a certified meditation and yoga teacher. She invites readers to investigate mindfulness by checking out reputable organizations and authors who support this practice.