Be There - Oh, and You’re Going to College
Barbara Bartle and Carly Grutel, friends and colleagues after beginning as TeamMates in 2000.
On a warm fall day, outside a local coffee shop, Carly Grutel munched on a scone and reflected on her TeamMates mentorship, now evolved into a 22-year friendship with Barbara Bartle, “I keep coming back to a lantern, that image,” she nods. “Barb holding the lantern and guiding me through.”
Barbara, recently retired President of the Lincoln Community Foundation, was chosen to be Carly’s mentor in 2000. In her prior role with the Foundation for Lincoln Public Schools, Barbara had helped Nancy and Tom Osborne launch TeamMates, “There was great excitement and energy around this new initiative, and I wanted to experience being a TeamMate.”
And experience it she did, meeting her young mentee during lunch from 5th grade through high school graduation, “Even if she had to be late.” Carly chuckled. “Barb was such a busy woman, with back-to-back appointments, but somehow she always showed up.”
And showing up is the most important thing, Carly said, “A mentor is not a superhuman – not at all. You’re showing up as a caring person in their life. Sit together. Play a game. Maybe talk. You matter.”
“Carly taught me the importance of commitment.”
Now, Carly has been a TeamMates mentor for four girls, “TeamMates does a really good job of pairing you, but even if you aren’t exactly alike, you just show up where the student needs you to. Each of my mentor-mentee relationships was so different.”
Like many mentors in the TeamMates program, Barbara saw the impact on both sides of the table, “Carly taught me the importance of commitment. She is very dedicated to family, work, and friends. She always shows up. Her tenacity is remarkable. Because of this match and Carly’s strengths, I could see that this was also a value to me.”
Carly feels she also helped Barbara gain a new perspective of what it was like to live in Lincoln, “Barb just didn’t know the details, especially of young people experiencing poverty and trauma.”
Asked about her 5th-grade impressions of Barbara, Carly said, “Of course, I recognized right away that she was probably older than my mom, but that didn’t matter. I just knew she was a professional woman whom I would get to talk with weekly and I was open. I wanted to succeed in life and I thought she could be in my corner!”
So, what did that look like? When Carly announced in middle school that she thought she wanted to “do hair” as her profession, Barbara challenged her to think about how she might leverage that passion. Carly quickly explained, “She would never say, ‘I don’t think you should do that.’ It was more like, ‘Okay. That’s great. Would you also consider this?’”
“Barb had expectations of me that I didn’t have anywhere else.”
Barbara was a seed planter, Carly said, “She took the idea that I wanted to do hair and showed that could get me in the door at the university in textiles and design … fashion, basically. I could see that, how it could work. So, I made a little adjustment. She helped me make that shift.”
Maybe that is why a particular lunch outing with Carly after she was admitted to UNL was so memorable to Barbara, “I think Carly was a sophomore or junior. She expressed how she enrolled in college to get a better-paying job, but to her surprise, she had fallen in love with learning. I can still feel that moment. That is what you wish for everyone. It was a beautiful conversation.”
"Barb wanted me to reach my full potential which is the mission of TeamMates, but it has to be natural. You have to show up as yourself and not anybody else,” said Carly.
11-year-old Carly meets Barbara, her TeamMates mentor
With the recent news of her acceptance to the UNO public administration graduate program, Carly has asked herself, “Why did I get a chance? Why was I chosen to be a TeamMate? If it wasn’t for Barb, my life would look totally different and now I continue on a similar path that she had [professionally] utilizing my story or stories like mine so I can give back to my community.”
Barbara counts the chance to work with Carly professionally at the Lincoln Community Foundation before she retired among “the greatest gifts” since their formal mentorship ended, then adds, “We are moving into a new era with my retirement. The lines often blur between being the mentor or the mentee … and that feels just right.”
Submitted by Christine Davis, TeamMates of Lincoln
Right now, a young person is taking their imperfect steps, hoping to share their journey with a caring, adventurous adult like you. To apply to be a TeamMate, call (402) 436-1990 or visit lincolnteammates.org.